Nothing of note happened at a German beach over the weekend. Except a boar swimming to shore and trying to attack everyone.
It what can only be described as “the least climactic horror movie in history,” German beachgoers on the Baltic Sea were stunned as a swimming boar slowly made its way to land and began charging anyone in sight. A man, armed with a shovel, was ready for the moment and took a swing at the boar to no avail — because boars don’t care about shovels.
We’re witnessing the animals adapting once more to the return of people. Honestly, I feel for the boar. Boars never get to have a human-free day at the beach, and finally they had a few months without the flesh, disease-ridden meat bags taking up all the space, and now they’re not welcome to swim again. It’s patently unfair.
At least boars are fighting back in their own way. This is the second time in a week a boar has attacked someone in Germany. Last time it was to steal a laptop, in what I have to imagine was designed to make a strong point about humanity’s reliance on technology instead of appreciating the natural world.
In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear: I’m extremely pro-boar in all these scenarios.
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